lunarly lunatic

Yea, I watched it: total eclipse of the moon. Propped myself up in bed, backwards, on pillows, so I could gaze out the window. I worked between gazes, some laptop project – possibly related to teaching? I can’t recall for sure, now…. been behind and falling behinder on the daily blogging routine….
I thought about time, trying to project myself backwards millennia to imagine the experience from the point-of-view of humans of the moment. I considered both the incredibly focused attention to global detail that enabled the prediction of such events as well as the primal uncertainties such an unusual event must necessarily evoke.
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Yes, I’ve seen an eclipse before, glanced up at certain times for perhaps an entire minute to see that, indeed, it was fully shrouded. Maybe peeked a few other times to catch a snapshot of its progress. Actually watching the show for four hours, though….never. And I couldn’t quite pull it off this time, either. The eclipse was the main event, but I was dually engaged with a computer project. I looked up quite often through the beginning of the partial eclipse, each time gazing long enough for my mind to wonder. I found myself most engaged during the shifts: first entry into the penumbra, transition into the umbra, and especially out of the umbra, re-entering the penumbra. The second half of the eclipse seems to me the most dramatic – unfortunately by then the moon’s orbit was out of window range except by extreme neck-craning. I let it go, unwilling to venture into the night’s bitter cold.
As I create meaning for myself, based on speculation of the past, personal experiences, and visioning for the future, I choose to emphasize the re-emergence of the moon rather than its disappearance. I have become familiar with so many ways that I fall into some version of the glum moodies, yet not as intimately aware of how I transition out of them into happier states-of-being. I’m still caught off-guard more often than I’d like by events and circumstances that plunge me into uncertainties and insecurities, but I have – slowly, painstakingly – begun to be more confident in the knowledge that the passage of time allows the re-establishment of a psychical foundation. Now, if I can just keep hold of this consciousness when I need it! ‘Cuz the cycles will most likely continue to recur, one way or another.
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Photos by Ambarish Karmalkar

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