lunarly lunatic

Yea, I watched it: total eclipse of the moon. Propped myself up in bed, backwards, on pillows, so I could gaze out the window. I worked between gazes, some laptop project – possibly related to teaching? I can’t recall for sure, now…. been behind and falling behinder on the daily blogging routine….
I thought about time, trying to project myself backwards millennia to imagine the experience from the point-of-view of humans of the moment. I considered both the incredibly focused attention to global detail that enabled the prediction of such events as well as the primal uncertainties such an unusual event must necessarily evoke.
Yes, I’ve seen an eclipse before, glanced up at certain times for perhaps an entire minute to see that, indeed, it was fully shrouded. Maybe peeked a few other times to catch a snapshot of its progress. Actually watching the show for four hours, though….never. And I couldn’t quite pull it off this time, either. The eclipse was the main event, but I was dually engaged with a computer project. I looked up quite often through the beginning of the partial eclipse, each time gazing long enough for my mind to wonder. I found myself most engaged during the shifts: first entry into the penumbra, transition into the umbra, and especially out of the umbra, re-entering the penumbra. The second half of the eclipse seems to me the most dramatic – unfortunately by then the moon’s orbit was out of window range except by extreme neck-craning. I let it go, unwilling to venture into the night’s bitter cold.
As I create meaning for myself, based on speculation of the past, personal experiences, and visioning for the future, I choose to emphasize the re-emergence of the moon rather than its disappearance. I have become familiar with so many ways that I fall into some version of the glum moodies, yet not as intimately aware of how I transition out of them into happier states-of-being. I’m still caught off-guard more often than I’d like by events and circumstances that plunge me into uncertainties and insecurities, but I have – slowly, painstakingly – begun to be more confident in the knowledge that the passage of time allows the re-establishment of a psychical foundation. Now, if I can just keep hold of this consciousness when I need it! ‘Cuz the cycles will most likely continue to recur, one way or another.
eclipse & stars cropped.jpg
Photos by Ambarish Karmalkar

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