“go work it out”

Mom meant my workout but that “it” implied all of everything else we discussed yesterday afternoon. Comps, travel, home, history, relationships. Wow. One cool part was her telling me about going to Tripoli – must have been in the 1950s (?) and Jerusalem in it’s Christian configuration. At that time, she said, folks couldn’t travel between Palestinian and Israeli areas. She mentioned that you couldn’t enter Tripoli if you had an Israeli stamp in your passport. This applies to Iran, still. I haven’t been to Israel so that’s one hurdle I don’t have to jump. (No word on authorization yet except that it is officially in progress.)
Yesterday was so full! I managed several important phone calls (procrastinated since forever) and some radical thinking. 🙂 Had a couple of serious/fun appointments…then was invited to dinner (spontaneously) and had the most wonderful time in the midst of an Indian-AfroBrazilian-American jazz jam session. Delicious food, happy people. It pushed me past my bedtime (!) and cut into some writing time but I have no regrets. I think I needed the break?
One amazing thing. There were two or three moments during the evening’s festivities when I felt “this is enough.” The impulse wasn’t attached to preferring to be somewhere else or occupied with something else, it was about capacity: I’d taken in as much as I could. Each time the experience was shortlived; what struck me is how the sensation of being maxxed-out paralleled – exactly! – the feeling I had during acupuncture yesterday morning. The “IA” (intuitive acupuncturist) poked me only in two places (right foot and left wrist) and then left me alone “to cook” for at least 45 minutes. There were two or three moments when I felt, viscerally, “I’m done now.”
I know it’s an accomplishment to keep stretching beyond the limits of capability, capacity, endurance . . . I keep coming up against the conditioning of the past. I have the image of Dan as Macbeth, roiled by voices; the transformations of Professor Lupine turning into a werewolf, and other movie-generated images of painful metamorphosis. But, I’m pleased to report that the IA also said my “energies are balancing out.” I’ve observed my reactions to some recent events that historically would have triggered me or otherwise inspired some form of acting out. And I didn’t. 🙂

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *