lost

It seems I just deleted or otherwise erased the entire contents of six years of email. Yes, I did backup…a few months ago?
Wow. Want to start a new life? :-/
And then there are the vagaries of memory. I’ve been sorting and organizing memorabilia, trying to put things in chronological order. How often did I misdate things? Not sure, but some years definitely seem incorrect. Sequencing? Sketchy. In one instance, there’s my written version and someone else’s written version of the same event. Different!
I’m a bit numb with the loss. I had envisioned a certain texturing of the written documentation of my life, thoughts, processes, etc. I know it’s not ALL gone; just the most recent several months, but gosh – it’s a shock. Or, maybe I’m not numb? Wouldn’t that be a change! Perhaps the half-dozen deletions of blog comments have inured me to this eventuality?
As Little Brother said upon departure a few days ago, there have been “so many goodbyes.” Me too, to people, places, and hoped-for futures.
I leave this space tomorrow. It’s been good for me. Who knows what the next one will bring?

3 thoughts on “lost”

  1. I’ve been trying to catch up on the blog’s past 2 weeks’ experiences. What’s this: “I leave this space tomorrow?” May 16 was documented as a day of melancholy. May 30 seems the same. So, it’s my turn to get sappy. Steph taught our Mass Comm course at UNH-Manchester this past term. Grades are in, so now I can be honest 🙂 As the saying goes, Steph not only informed, but inspired! She offered unending support but provoked independence. She’s a natural teacher who challenges one to check things out from different angles. Yep, folks, all that PLUS the ability to rap unlike any other white girl out there! I know I haven’t heard the last from/of Steph and that she’ll keep teaching the rest of the world (Turkey and Iran first). And, we’ll all be better off because of her fire. Go, girlfriend! I’m wishing you clear, smooth paths on the road ahead.

  2. Chris, you’re one to talk! Nothing like having a lung removed and missing only one class! Now there’s a transition for the record books.
    Yes, the lease on the room I rented this year was up today and I’m gone, more-or-less “on the road” for an indeterminate time and unknown destinations. I do hope I get the visa and am not turned away at the gate. I need someone to take me shopping! Me – wearing a scarf! Can you imagine?!! 🙂 I anticipate the fashion adventure.

  3. A visa? Ooops – this is when your past life catches up with you! My fingers are crossed too! A scarf for Steph. The image is imaginable – geometric print, I think. Earth tones. Hey – I’m in the market for scarfs too. I’d like to think you’re scarfing it in support of my shining head, but I know you paid attention to a certain final project and film. Still, it seems like another thing in common … Yep, only missed one class – couldn’t chance missing what Steph would be up to any given night! That’s the inspiration I was talking about! Keep on teachin the world, Steph …

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