blasted by the past

Frances and Kathy regaled me with memories last night, camping trips, this person and that, who’s doing what now, who’s with who now, who’s had a baby. They’re still in touch with all the “groups” of my former life – a circle from college, UPS and other people associated with work, and the social crowd. It seems fitting to end my trip with these reminescences. Those were the people who knew me when I was brash and completely unaware that emotions were a figural part of human existence.
We hailed in the New Year on New York time – 11 pm here in Kansas City, fooling the kids who went berserk in a neighbor’s front yard with poppers and pot lids, then toilet papered Frances’ son’s truck. “Payback”, I heard, for a few parties when Robbie and his pals woke them up with partying.
It’s been a trip driving around, vaguely recalling places from high school, how familiar this place feels and yet so distant in actual memory. Of course, there are specific events and conversations that come to mind, as well as subtle drifts of visceral memory – how I felt during this time of my life, with various folk, about certain situations. Wild.


I came out to Kathy and Frances’ place after seeing Rich, who’s looking kindof like my Uncle Dick in the face and a football player in the trunk. It has been 13 years. Our best connection was a conversation about Nuremberg – he saw a special on C-Span a night or two ago, and I just wrote about it from my research last summer. 🙂 I knew there was a reason I brought a copy of that paper with me!
Said bye to the boys and Christi. They were curious about how my surprising Rich would go (I think it kinda weirded him out – such a shock – but he was obviously delighted).
Dad and I talked some more – heavy sedation if he’s in a lot of pain and there’s no chance of recovery. We’ll be continuing this as he works through the paperwork. It’s a grim subject but also intimate – you get to know things about a person (your parent!) talking about their wishes. At this time in our lives, it seems to be a good thing.

2 thoughts on “blasted by the past”

  1. “emotions were a figural part of human existence” !Funny!
    I found your site after googling remote viewing and reflexivity. We’ve been practicing “scientific” (or at least regimented) remote viewing for awhile and i was just reading George Hanson’s trickster book and wanted to see if there was any link on the web. Your links show how an image might be perceived thru a wormhole. This is more distorted (and more colorful) than images appear when remote viewing, but is this the same thing? I would say yipee myself if i could say i understood this. Am i opening myself up for the cheap joke if i say we all have wormholes in our heads? Is the pineal gland the third eye?
    Also regarding mugwort, it’s more likely to be used to raise pyschic energy, spiritual level and have visions or call spirits. It’s a very hardy plant, grows in the herb garden to five feet and has a vigorous attitude. It can be smoked or burned as incense.
    I would caution taking magical herb advice from any Harry Potter source. While its obvious the author has a wide background of information about the occult it is presented in a popularized (and therefore unrealiable) form.

  2. Hey T’mara, I like being accused of having a wormhole in my head. 🙂 (Although I take the distorting effect as something we’re on the planet to figure out how to perceive AS distortion.)
    My first take on remote viewing was surveillance – as in videocameras. But I checked and see it’s parapsychological. I’ve heard of it before, but only vaguely. Is it akin to lucid dreaming?
    What’s the pineal gland hypothesis?
    Thanks for the info on Mugwort. Yeah, I did check out some other sources rather than taking Harry Potter literally. 🙂

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *