progress . . .

Talked with the Head Nurse today; she’s going to look into a special vest or some other “approved” piece of restraint equipment. Then we’ll get to the official paperwork. there’s a standard form but of course we’ll doctor it as necessary to make it work. We also talked about a communication board … she’ll check out what’s available, but I’m thinking we might make a custom one for Sam. Of course it’s got to have the practical stuff on it, but there’s all kind of sayings unique to Sam I was thinking we might add in. Please add any ideas you have…. I was going to play with spelling to say “Yuck Fou” and also “Yank Thou” (Thank You) so he can indicate disgust and gratitude, as relevant. Whaddaya ya’all think? Sam said, “I think it’s wonderful!” So do send us whatever you think we need to include. ­čśë
Sam’s favorite joke today was from Nona; honorable mention to the one from David about “never hearing the end of farting in an echo chamber“):


How’d you break your arm?
Even if you aren’t a skier, you’ll be able to appreciate the humor of the slopes as written by a
New Orleans paper:
A friend just got back from a holiday skiing trip to Utah with the kind of story that warms the cockles of anybody’s heart.
Conditions were perfect…12 below, no feeling in the toes, basic numbness all over…the “Tell me when
we’re having fun” kind of day. One of the women in the group complained to her husband that she was in dire need of a rest room. He told her not to worry, that he was sure there was relief waiting at the top of the lift in the form of a powder room for female skiers in distress. He was wrong, of course, and the pain did not go away.
If you’ve ever had nature hit its panic button in you, then you know that a temperature of 12 below doesn’t help matters.
With time running out, the woman weighed her options. Her husband, picking up on the intensity of the pain, suggested that since she was wearing an all-white ski outfit, she should go off in the woods and no one would even notice. He assured her, “The white will provide more than adequate camouflage.” So she headed for the tree line, began lowering her ski pants and proceeded to do her thing.
If you’ve ever parked on the side of a slope, then you know there is a right way and wrong way to set your skis so you don’t move. Yup, you got it!!! She had them positioned the wrong way. Steep slopes are not forgiving…even during the most embarrassing moments.
Without warning, the woman found herself skiing backward, out-of-control, racing through the
trees…somehow missing all of them and onto another slope. Her derriere and the reverse side were still bare, her pants down around her knees, and she was picking up speed all the while.
She continued backwards, totally out-of-control, creating an unusual vista for the other skiers. The
woman skied back under the lift and finally collided violently with a pylon. The bad news was that she
broke her arm and was unable to pull up her ski pants. At long last her husband arrived, putting an end to her nudie show, then summoned the ski patrol. They transported her to a hospital.
While in the emergency room, a man with an obviously broken leg was put in the bed next to hers. “So, how’d you break your leg?” she asked, making small talk.
“It was the stupidest thing you ever saw,” he said. “I was riding up this ski lift and suddenly, I
couldn’t believe my eyes! There was this crazy woman skiing backward, out-of-control, down the mountain, with her bare bottom hanging out of her pants. I leaned over to get a better look and fell out of the lift.”
“So, how’d you break your arm?

One thought on “progress . . .”

  1. Sam-
    I miss you dearly and am glad to hear that you are still full of… life.
    Please make sure that the communication board includes the word “bitchin'” as this is a word that Sam used frequently with me, in the context: “That movie was totally bitchin’, I loved it”.

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