“permission to restrain”

This could be downright creepy, but hopefully it won’t ever be used to any ill purpose. Every now and then, Sam gets so tired he just can’t hold himself upright in his chair anymore. It’s a bit disconcerting to walk in and find him slumped over. 🙁 He’s ok (if uncomfortable), but doesn’t have the muscles to pull himself back up by himself. I’ve fiddled around with a couple of the safety harnesses they use for lifting him and it does the trick – I think without too much discomfort. At least, with less than being doubled-up. The nursing home staff won’t (can’t, I guess) do it unless Sam signs an official form giving them permission.


Understandably, he’s reluctant to do so because lord knows when and how they might abuse it. NOT that I personally suspect anyone there of being intentionally cruel, but the truth is folks won’t slow down enough to actually HEAR what Sam’s wishes are in the moment. He’s quicker, relatively speaking, when he’s got energy, but even then he’s operating on a different time frame. His mind isn’t, I’m still pretty sure of that, but the effort of getting his mouth to just articulate what he’s thinking is becoming more and more obvious. So some dang fool actually dropped him a few weeks ago because she didn’t take the time to let him get his feet under him. And lord knows how many other mishaps, blunders, and errors of disrespect occur just because folks are in a hurry. Even the good ones – the ones Sam really likes, who’ve been there for a long time or otherwise made some kind of connection with him – they’re also prone to just fill in what they think Sam needs/means if he doesn’t respond quickly enough.
It’s a real problem. 🙁
sigh
Otherwise, he’s fine. (Oops – Sam, I forgot to tell you my mom says she loves you. And we know she’s not the only one!) Tom & Lou and Barbara Dunn were just leaving when I arrived with piping-hot Thai food. We munched on shrimp salad and chicken satay while visiting with another resident, Carole Sue. She’s a deaf woman I know; a sweetheart of a person if there ever was one. We chatted about bingo, stuffed animals, Sam’s paintings (especially the ones by Phil & Lorraine). Didn’t stay too long, as Sam was wiped out by all his company. I didn’t notice (via the guestbook) if there were other visitors even earlier, but while I was there an off-duty staff person came in with a wee one dressed like a pumpkin. That kid was passed out until Sam started coughing – that woke her up! He sounds kinda like a dragon when he coughs. No danger, but it sounds ominous!

One thought on ““permission to restrain””

  1. Ciao Sammy!
    Finally, I’ve returned and have reasonable computer access! Hope you’ve rec’d the postcards. Using those Delta freq. flyer miles was a great decision and of course being in Italy again was like heaven. Thought of you often and all the fun memories of your visits there!! It felt like “coming home” again. Wish there were a way to live part-time there and part-time here…….
    As a “guest,” all my friends cook for me, take me out, treat me to fun times — what a life! The comment is always, “manga, manga”! (eat, eat!)
    So, your faced w/ yet another “not so pleasant” decision, i.e., to use the safety belt or not. Spoke w/ Mary L. this a.m. and we tried to consider if there was a way to word the medical directive for its use so that you could have as much say about, when, where, how, etc. She said she’d talk w/ you about it. If you can participate in carefully defining the parameters, hopefully that will make the situation more palatable. I know it sucks, but so does doing a face plant into your soup, or pitching forward out of your chair. I’m so sorry Sam that your body is failing you. It’s not just that I’m sorry, I’m distressed, disappointed, sad, frustrated and #%*!%# angry! Not that it changes anything for you, but wanted to say it anyway.
    I and all your loved ones can barely begin to imagine how you must be feeling inside about this latest turn. You always take things in stride, I know you’ll find a way to make this transition as well. Please know that you’re loved, thought of often and in many of our prayers.
    Will write more soon & will get back to printing out the jokes for you!! Bunches and Bunches of Hugs & Love come w/ this message, Jennifer

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