“It’s very public, what’s happening to her.” Oh attention-seeking one, do you recognize yourself here? 🙂
What’s happened to me in the last six months is also public. 20 pounds is noticeable. My students refrained from critiquing my dress at this level (ill-fitting, baggy, whoknows what adjectives they’d use. skank? Uh oh, THAT’s why I don’t try to talk street!)
There was definitely something quite nerve-wracking about doing the Teacher’s Body presentation at NCA. Opening oneself up in that way – the performance AND the performativity – inviting not only critique (although that’s the scholarly first response, eh?) but also recognizing that appearance and reactions to appearance are a part of our interactions whether we want them to be or not.
No doubt there’s an attention-seeking element in it. Yo hey everybody! Look at me! But, (I hope this isn’t just to rationalize my own choices) I think there’s also gotta be some degree of humility (I really hope this is why folks laughed so much) in accepting that this is how I look, how I appear, and people do notice and think/feel something about it – at least initially.
Is it a legitimate focus of study? It’s hard to bring the spotlight onto ourselves….But Some of Us Are Brave.