I dunno. I’m just wondering. Can one “hail” oneself? Can I call forth the valences in “me” that I choose, rather than those that are called forth from others? Of course, I’m pondering the whole parent- and partnerhood thang. The more distance I have (and I don’t think I’m talking about the aesthetic kind!), the more able I become to disengage from the less appealing valences and personalized history that has fed them and perceive “where things went wrong” and hypothesize about why/how. And….this makes me a bit more capable of recognizing when those same valences are being triggered (silence just flips me out; it can be so aggressive and diminishing) and – while being pulled into “old” (repetitive, familiar) emotional patterns – I can imagine that maybe this silence isn’t a disciplinary silence (one designed to let me know that I have transgressed some communicative/relational code) but a “silence” of another kind, for instance, of gathering one’s own resources, of “dealing”, of coming to terms with one’s own subjective tendencies and “choices”. Then again (see here comes the drift!), maybe it’s just an opportunity to solidify the suppression of any residue of affection…no no no, here is the moment….I call to the better parts of my own nature and banish suspicion.