group dynamics: August 2006 Archives

"talk to strangers"

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I tried to skip town fast but Lee cut me and June off at the pass and plied me with provisions. (I ate everything. I want to know the brand of those lemon wafers.)

I needed it after June conned me into yoga torture at the hands of a Russian contortionist at 8 am on Sunday morning. (What was I thinking?!)

Lee sent me off with two tips: "talk to strangers" (but of course!) and "watch the gap" (between train and platform). I think she meant them both literally, but I pondered the second as a metaphor. I'm always watching for "the gap" in communication, meaning, relationship... how, when, why, to what ends (functions, effects) do these gaps get mediated? Are they closed, bridged, widened? Do they cause problems (too much distance) or prevent them (provide a buffer)? What are the options in approach and intent that align more tightly with desired outcomes? Is there "an outcome" that is desired or is the gap nonconsequential?

Creation was still much on mind, loose images from Deb's paintings floating across my brainscape. I kept thinking of Immanuel Velikovsky and his argument about planetary evolution and its impact on the species. I extrapolate that creation and evolution are violent, catastrophic events (not the nice warm and cozy mitosis where a cell painlessly and smoothly subdivides...)

I successfully navigated the NYC subway before spending the second half of the day on Greyhound (fun commentary from the driver - spicing up an essential feature of class culture).

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I almost finished reading an excellent biography of Ataturk on the bus (no motion sickness!)

Puru rescued me from the rain; the Razmobile started without hesitation; Smita cooked a great meal; Mei Mei pretended she didn't know me. Welcome home!

"It's the longest Sunday," June observed, after Deb commented on my whipping out the camera to record the spread at Lee and Ralph's last night: "You're still on vacation!"

Yes. :-)

Once again I had no idea how the day would unfold. Lee had offered that I could stay in Long Beach for a few days upon my return and I looked forward to a day or so of rest and adjustment from jetlag. Ambiguity was immediately introduced, however, as other company had arrived. I was chauffered to June's instead.

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I hardly hesitated to make myself at home - how could I, when she'd already drawn a bath in the jacuzzi for me?!!! I slept deep and well, waking up early yesterday to begin in earnest the task of being back. I commandeered the dining room table for a few hours of work, then meandered through the day. Before leaving the house, I met June's turtles (among the rest of the menagerie, which includes a cat named Bob). Lee collected me and I resumed mediterranean mode, tagging along wherever, whenever: a tagsale (or was it a yardsale?), a jaunt on the boardwalk (15 minute massage for $10!), a visit to Deborah and Steven's which turned into lunch with Raki.

Next up? Shopping. Oooo, my favorite! (not) I was aimless for awhile. After a few hours though (!), what could one do but join in the spirit? "That was a frivolous day," said Lee, when we finally pulled out of the TJ Maxx parking lot, dispelling my perception that she lives this way all the time. ;-)

I have already learned many things this day: about hosting, giving gifts, taking care to be sure no one feels the least bit extraneous. I adjusted to shifts in conversation - from intensive, animated political discussion with Deb to general care and concern for issues and persons in each other's lives. In the past these would have caused me some angst but today was merely the way of the flow. All this was, it seems in retrospect, prelude to the deep and sweet stuff to come.

When I entered Deb's living room I felt almost assaulted by the large canvas leaned up against one wall. My reaction was gut, visceral; I had no words. As we drove away at the end of the evening, June told me about teasing Deborah about "a lot of red" and asking, "Where's the crime scene?"

Yes, my first reaction was to the implicit violence. I wondered about the insides of this woman: what sources inspire such production?

I almost cried in her studio, standing on the toilet (!), taking in the full visual presence of #40 after her description of its material, theoretical, and spiritual elements. I showed her my tattoo. "That's a lot like my work!" she exclaimed. :-) Yes, our canvasses differ, but the stuff of our work - genetics (dialectics) and dialogue (creation) run parallel.

From there we went to dinner, eventually dubbed my welcome home party. (I only grinned from ear-to-ear for most - not all - of the evening.) ;-) Lee brought out Sam's last bottle of wine. June finally found us and we toasted the spirit of Sam, the day, new and old friends, good food, and memories.

Ralph manipulated the musical environment masterfully as we chomped and chatted our way through several courses, including a dessert to die for - the best canoli and chocolate-covered blueberries!

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Can you believe all that was followed by tiramisu? Stop already! (No, don't!) ;-) Not long thereafter I hit the wall. Deb and June noticed immediately - poof, within ten minutes we were on the road.

Chance moves on.

Goodbye for now.


Tesekkür Ederim

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A wave of grief swelled up in me when Leylim asked me not to leave last night, “First night and last night!” Only an hour before Arzu had asked me how I feel about going back to the States. “Mixed.”

“Keep your heart with you,” encouraged Umit. :-) How can I not when life rewards me with such sweet meetings? Early yesterday morning, I’d told Fatih I wanted to spend my last night with old friends instead of new ones. I meant it when I said it, but life doesn’t always conform to expectation. Instead I had a perfect day and perfect night with five new people and seven old friends. Quality time with a dozen people in one day! Who would ever have imagined my capacity could expand so much?

Liminal Turkey (as I’ve subtitled my holiday here) has done its work in me. Warning: My sentimental streak is in high gear. Double warning: I won’t apologize for the excess I can’t contain! :-)

I got started late even though I woke up early. Instead of throwing a blanket on Erdem’s face to wake him this morning I tried shaking his feet. Three times. Finally the woman in the bunk above was also disturbed by his alarm (she thought it was mine), so I roused myself, getting out of bed to go to the head of his bunk and shake the dude. I was pleased to be awake and alert after our (unphotographed!) late night and immediately dove into work.

There were conversations to have with Gunseli, Nina, and Fatih. The morning stretched luxuriously into early afternoon. Yikes! I was supposed to be “doing things!” I bumped into Jillian as I readied myself to leave and it turned out her afternoon was free. “Have you been to Moda?” she asked me? Nope. And we were off. :-)

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After much meandering – in conversation as well as path – we arrived at a cay bahcesi.

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Since it was my last day, Jill offered me “the better view.” I accepted but then realized I didn’t want to see the city, I wanted more of the water as my visual horizon. “Perfect! I get the mosque,” she said. “Perfect!” I responded, “I get the open sea.”

Something in me chafed a few times….wasn’t I in a hurry to get somewhere? I noted this temporal residue: being in a constant rush, as if whatever I was engaged in was en route to somewhere else where there was (supposedly?) something “more.” I reminded myself that the only destination is now. Besides, I really did not have anything else that needed doing! A few phone calls to touch base and coordinate schedules offer some proof of the “Mediterranean attitude” I’ve absorbed. (Of course we’ll have to see how long it lasts once back in the gristmill of the academic calendar.)

The afternoon floated along like sailboats. Eventually, it was time to rendezvous with Arzu and Ahmet for dinner: delicious crab salad. The evening’s pre-planned schedule faded: more “things to do next time.” Instead, I viewed Ahmet’s first short film, The Trashcan, listened to some of his mixes, and burned Kabakoz photos for Arzu. We were starting to wind down when the phone rang. Ten minutes later Umit and Leylim arrived. I sucked down some coffee fast. :-) We enjoyed some dessert and stretched our wings in stimulating conversation. Meanwhile we perused Arzu’s artwork. We laughed often and deep.

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I flew until my body stopped (hi, Claire). :-)

Returning to the hostel conjured the sense of coming home, a place of respite, affection and teasing after respective days full of who knows what. Old (!) friends – including Recep, Özcan, Erdem, and Olga – opened, closed, and touched the middle of the day. New friends filled it with light.

Kolay.

Bye Bye Sabanci!

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Life caught up with me quickly when I moved away from my friend’s place at Sabanci University some weeks (?) [!!!!] ago. It was a terrific refuge while I tried to find my bearings after my plan to travel to Iran was dashed. The effort of generating an alternative on the spot overwhelmed me, leaving me content to plant my butt and let weeds grow. It is a fantastic campus with a gorgeous library (whose friendly staff

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facilitated my communication with an IT staffer (Osman should get a raise) who arranged wireless access for me as a temporary guest), outdoor sculptures, a water fountain (good for reading by), fantastic gym facilities, and good food. See me eat!

In addition to the tasty cafeteria meals there is a fast food joint that serves a delicious tavuk (and whose staff wanted to be famous).

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Out of fairness then, I asked my daily coffee suppliers if they would like their picture taken as well. They did.

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Meanwhile, all is not so open (shhhhhhh, tease forthcoming!) I was allowed access to secure (coded) housing but not to the mysterious, concealed biophysics lab. I was able to capture photos only from behind cover.

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The arrival of new technological equipment escaped my camera. Careful, painstaking, and prolonged observation determined that the office of a certain accomplished biophysicist is behind these one-way windows.

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I had spied the campus rocket upon arrival and saved it on purpose for the last day. I had determined that the steps to the top were open.

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Imagine my emotions after climbing some 57 (or was it 84?) stairs! My emotions were also stirred by the spectacular student art exhibit, Nu Portreler 2.

I began my collection of hand images most deliberately here - I hope none of the artists are offended (and if they are, that they will let me know). I thought I included one recently but now can't find it; at any rate watch for more in future posts! (Unfortunately, glare is a problem with some: either from my flash or the natural light.)

Only one thing at Sabanci was left undone. ;-)

The applause after the first number, Leonore Overture, No. 3, Op. 72, was overwhelming. Beethoven is usually rousing, but there was a quality to the upsurge of gratitude and appreciation that seemed to exceed recognition of the quality of the performance. My own guess is that a significant component of the emotion was sheer relief - for now, at least, the Israeli/Hezbollah ceasefire plan in Lebanon appears to be working.

This orchestra is the 1999 brainchild of intellectual and public critic Edward Said (a Palestinian); and conductor and pianist Daniel Barenboim (an Israeli). Its performances raise money to support young people from the Middle East and Israel to play classical music together. The Foundation, now based in Seville, Spain, issued a declaration in 2004, and

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An ancient hall of Topkapi Palace, the Hagia Eirene Museum was sold out but we obtained standing room only tickets and wound up sitting (comfortably enough) in the rear stairwell (our view from below, first half; for the second half we made it to the uppermost stairs). Acoustically, I was amazed at the sound. It was stunning. I wondered about performances in this space over the millennia (!) and the constitution of audiences. What kinds of court intrigues and politics occurred during and regarding public performances? How public was “public”, then? (I was unaware at the time of the cancellation and reinstatement of the concert for political purposes.)

I haven’t attended a live orchestra performance for at least 20 years. Various impressions flitted through my mind mixed with vague memories of growing up. Have I heard these pieces before? It was an educated audience, no one applauded falsely between the many movements of Schubert’s Trout Quintet. After the third or forth movement the audience and musicians had cohered. The warmth of the summer evening and lack of ventilation heated up the air to the edge of discomfort: the discipline of sitting still and listening was released in a full group rustle of throat-clearing, rapid brochure-fanning, and general bodily rearrangement. Such was reenacted in each pause thereafter.

What a contrast with Depeche Mode and its audience’s constant, unrestrained movement and attention leapfrogging between the music, mobiles, location, beer…

I also thought about voice and modern-day, mass-mediated politics. I imagined mideast politics as a symphony. There’s the constant thrum of the violins, the basics of everyday life, ebbing and cresting in twitters, chirps, and plucks of melancholy, pleasure, contentment, discord. Occasionally deep swells converge in coordinated harmonies, complimenting or contesting other tides. The deeper strings, brass and woodwinds vacillate among drawing out the dark power of living and accentuating the surface manifestations of conflict and dissension. Percussion marks the points of decision. Commit or retreat but know that whichever is chosen is consequential, even if only circumstantially so.

I know my characterization is crude: I am not a musician. But I felt the music and this is what I thought: a strong voice was needed to pound the drums long and hard enough to force political forces to stop the surface burst of unbelievable human violence. Let’s say the voices of my friends raised in outrage were the cellos and horns, and I came in as a woodwind. Or perhaps I was a lone French Horn against the trumpets. My notes were heard (?) as a threat to the cohesion of the necessary cumulation of voice (sound, power). I would prefer to be positioned as a complementary voice playing an alternative melody, or striking my notes along a different yet compatible scale (but this may be out of my control). What matters to me is the overall “sound” – the co-generated orchestral production. What a good conductor does is balance the volume of each section (sometimes even each individual instrument) so that each thematic strand is auditorily consonant with every other; but the conductor cannot make this happen, the musicians must be responsive, they must trust the conductor’s ear, which hears that which they cannot.

I suppose I came up with this analogy because of a section in Brahms Symphony No. 1 in C Minor, Op. 68. I am not sure which instrument it was, perhaps (?) the contrabassoon. Its sound was almost too deep, too soft to be discerned yet Barenboim coaxed it up, quieting the violins just enough for the lone voice to emerge with the distinctiveness of its own rhythm.

Of course, the difference in social relations and musical collaboration are that there are no conductors (or too many, smile) for social relations. There is also little precedent for such wholistic orchestration in societies or groups where, for instance, we are mostly strangers to each other. Hence, our attunements are more likely random and historical rather than deliberate and visionary.

At the end of the concert I wanted more. So did the vast majority of the audience, and I believe the musicians did too. No go. :-( Maybe Barenboim wasn’t feeling well; maybe he was affected by the absence of the double-bassist who had been called back to Berlin for some reason (leading to an alteration in the program). Who knows. The love was there. :-)

The audience’s appreciation did not dim after that first round of applause, making me wonder if it was “only” the music after all. Or perhaps the even more simple effect of the fundraiser wine we had to gulp before entering? :-) The music was extraordinary, of that there can be no doubt. The setting was magical, the timing historic, the company superb. (Erdem did make sure there was no confusion about our relationship.) ;-)

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The title of the orchestra is from Goethe's poem of this name, West-Eastern Divan, "in which he brings the poetic culture culture of the Islamic and Western worlds together" (liner notes). Goethe is noted for beginning to learn Arabic after the age of 60 as well as for truthfully representing "the Eastern spirit of poetry." Imagine! Old dogs can learn new tricks!

oops!

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I posted a few days ago about a new trove of data for internet researchers, with accompanying debates regarding the ethics of using it.

It seems AOL released the data in error.

Meanwhile, it is suggested that the release violates the Electronic Communications Privacy Act. (A law everyone affecting everyone who uses email.)

Posted by Wojciech to the air-l listserv, air-l Digest, Vol 25, Issue 8, August 8, 2006.

am I missing

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the best parties in Amherst?

It would seem so: Mr. Motown fronts Anuj serving bira.

I recognize my own singing peers in the background: flat tenors. I would have fit right in!

I'm not really jealous. Istanbul is pretty cool. :-)

Yesterday's air-l Digest, Vol 25, Issue 7, includes discussion of private information made publicly available by AOL for a short window of time. A summary is here. The discussion has begun with questions of ethical use. I also wonder about the squeeze of surveillance technologies on the academy: certainly industry and government will feel no such compunction against mining this data for their own purposes.

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