group dynamics: July 2006 Archives

Gizem worked hard to get us tickets. I helped.

It was great. :-) They played 20-30 songs, almost all of which I recognized (!), all of which were imminently danceable, except one of the encore numbers, "Leave in Silence." I haven't been to such a mass ritual in more years than I can recall. Seriously, I was trying to remember the last large popular music concert I attended - U2, I think. Before that was Michael Jackson (a last minute sub for tickets my dad had). The first one ever? Bob Seger. There was also KISS (that was a great show), and some others, but we're talking 15-20 years ago. but hey, who's counting?!

No pix - cameras were banned. :-( The stadium, Kurecesme Arena is cool - set right on the shore of the Bosphorus, nestled up against a hill, cool breezes blew in off the water at irregular intervals but often enough. The bright wealthy folk just cruised on up in their fancy boats; some folks were brought in by ferry.

A special treat was the bonus show on the ride home with Mr. Jet-Set Comedian himself, Baris (I think it's properly spelled with a whoolamajig at the bottom of the "s" but my symbol panel doesn't include that option - sounds like "sh"). He was busy recounting his world travels and assessing the likelihood of becoming an oil baron. ;-) I'll put money on him!

Not only did I bump into Derek after blogging about him (he was engaged in the business of stealing pistachios) but I also met Elaine and we had a great talk about the blurring of boundaries between fiction and non-fiction, various uses of performance, and the ambiguities we experience (if I’m not overattributing?) regarding displays of emotion and affectivity. Ien Ang and Greg Noble were both at (3.38) Multilingual Cosmopoliticians this evening, which gave me a chance to greet them. I also introduced myself to Tom Cheesman, who gave me such a boost of cyber-encouragement when I first started thinking about interpretation in Europe.

Erkan found me tonight, as did Ezgi, Alisa, and others. (Nothing like a bit of notoriety, eh?!) Meanwhile, Gin and Tonic Man keeps yelling "Butch Power!"

I faded a bit at The Deep (my introvert side?); hopefully the extrovert will reappear for dancing in a bit. Or did I use up all that energy last night?

I approached a couple of likely young men. Likely for what? Who knew?!!! “Are you friendly?” I inquired, wondering if they would bite. Burak replied that he was exhausted. “I can’t speak in English or Turkish.”

It’s a good thing I wrote my reflections of Day 1 during the last panel, before the conference “get together.” Veysel (of the gin and tonics) told me about Foucault and disciplinary discourses: “Discipline starts in deficits not real imitation.” (We were speaking about the debate initiated by Göle with Chatterjee.) Kutlughan (the mainstream guy) condemned postmodernists in general. Altug told us of eating Turkish crayfish in Sweden (they’re not eaten in Turkey, only caught here and shipped there as a "delicacy" ~ talk about "postmodern!") Yonca promised to email. Yasemin identified tursu as pickled plum. That was a treat, although not as delicious as the deniz berulcesi devoured at the after-party. (As well as for breakfast this morning!)

Serkan didn’t stick around but I did get the briefest synopsis of his presentation (1.43) which sounded awesome. Baris (“peace”) also vanished even though he had complained of being left out when it took a moment for introductions to be made. I’m not sure where Veysal ended up. He’d had his eye on someone and was in hot pursuit when we left. He gave me one of the best compliments on my hair that I’ve ever received: “It’s just noise!” :-)

The reception ended: “Tomorrow this will be a school,” the security guard informed us as he chased us away. But we weren’t done. Camiye me geldik! We ended up somewhere deep in the Nevizade.

Burak dubbed me “mommy” – which turned out not to be so special as he had at least two others of various genders and a “father” as well. Who are the rest of these people? Dilek, Kaan, Mark, Omer, and Ayse, among unnamed others. :-) There was even a Koray lookalike - giving a hint of things to come. Turns out I like the lion’s milk, and all the spreads that came with it (eggplant, yogurt, a bean paste, olives). I want to know what fish arrived later? It was fantastic.

The question that lingers is, did any of us become prettier? Igelim guzelleselim!

I confess, I had a very particular child in mind last night while colleagues spoke of giving kids the stink eye, detailing various and myriad reasons why none should ever be allowed out in public, and declaiming against pregnancy in the first place. I admit, it was too close to home for me to join in the banter, but I appreciated it nonetheless. (Although apparently not as much as our waiter, who overheard one of the birthday girls suggesting that it was just such talk that prevented me from hanging out with them more often: “You should hear what it sounds like from here.”)

I laughed hard throughout the evening. :-) It was good to see and be with the assorted “criminals” and “suspects” from the Communication Department, even if my energy was too low to contribute much beyond (my usual?!) rather staid facts and observations.

“Why would you travel to such a hostile region?” Art asked, and others joined in with some comments about my common sense. I did, in fact, actually draw up and sign a will (how’s that for placing someone’s age?) and the Legal Secretary (whom I’ve known for several years) did tease about wondering whether or not I was “really in my right mind” or not. :-)

“It’s not hostile inside Iran,” I replied, to which there was a general murmur of acknowledgment. “Just the surrounding region,” Art clarified.

When I got in last night, Neil said, “It’s not looking good.” Huh? He’s been watching Fox. The Bush administration is blaming Iran for the violence among Israel-Gaza-Lebanon-Hezbollah. Damn. When I woke up this morning I realized that the Foreign Ministry in Iran probably considers my “late” application so suspicious because it’s probably precisely a time when the US might try to slip agitators and spies into the country. I remember talking with Arturo, who said if he was the paranoid type, my general openness about things would make him more suspicious of me, rather than less. Sigh.

I will be disappointed if I can’t go. I became quite excited about the adventure (experience, opportunity) as a reward for completing comps and myriad other similarly important life tasks in the past two months. I’ll be more disappointed, however, if the US continues down the path of war. What about the road less traveled? As I listened to the teasing among the partygoers last night I marveled at the practiced ease of ironic distance. Perhaps it is simply my own bias and projection, but I don’t believe people enter the field of communication without some desire to make things better. It’s the balance between being so keenly aware of life’s absurdity: seemingly trapped (?) within the (dialectical) power of history and yet soaking up every possible pleasure, creating our own bubbles of joy founded in/upon ‘another way.’

This morning I woke up from indeterminate dreams yet a solid idea about the power of the moment challenging the crisis of history. It occurs to me that my colleagues figured this out a long time ago. I am still playing catch-up.

"You do look relaxed and peaceful," Lorna told me while cutting my hair today. She refrained from mentioning what a change this is from usual! :-)

Kathy asked me if I was "relieved" when I gave her the last question yesterday. No, not yet - I was already on to all the other things needing to be done prior to departure... too wound up? I'd also lost steam in the final half-hour and really struggled to come up with some semblance of a conclusion.

It helped the most that Tejal feasted me, Smita beat me at bombardment, and we all shared lots of laughs and silliness. Puru snapped some photos. Fugu honored me - on only our second meeting! - with her nickname. (I'm sure she realized there was minimal chance I would learn to say her proper name correctly. Neil and Satya arrived in time for food. Estelle carried herself with aplomb. I could not have had a better evening to celebrate being done. :-)

The rest of today was also sweet! The universe smiles on me. Yippee!

so by Boston standards it was a good party. !!

I did manage to squeeze in a bit more socializing last night (pure comps-escapism). Cris and Marcelo's new place is sweeeeet and the gathered friends way cool. The neighbors leave something to be desired though, calling in a complaint to the fire marshall on the very modest campfire the guys labored over for an hour (with all the wet wood) to get going.

The officer said something about "a cooking fire" being ok so I asked, "If we roasted marshmallows then it would be ok?" I'm not sure, but I think he thought I was being a smart-aleck, so I hastened to add, "I just want to understand the parameters!"

He was friendly enough then, even apologized for having to bust up this element of the house-warming party. Amherst town has an ordinance against any kind of fires except the cooking kind - which means grill and the whole nine yards of an entire meal. "I'd have to consider marshmallows just an excuse," he explained. Oh well.

I did have a few great conversations with a couple of really cool folk from the Translation Department, English Department, and Marcelo's work. Had a bit of trouble with some of the Spanish names pronounced with a mouth full of food (Ramon is not exactly the most difficult, but I couldn't "hear" it the first two times around!) . . . I hope this wasn't too much of a precursor to the social embarrassment I'm no doubt going to be feeling soon enough in Turkey and (fingers still crossed!) Iran.

There was some passion at Delano's today, but not much. I had some sympathy for Zidane but it went out the window when he headbutted the Italian player. I don't care what the provocation. I was happy Italy won. Mostly, though, I was glad to see Sai (great burrito, man), Satya (in full regalia), Neil (more-or-less) . . . and Chris and Jung Yup and Srini and Alex and Dhaka . . . and others less familiar but still friendly.

It was probably my last social respite until comps are done.

A few quickies though: Friday, July 7th, Writer's Almanac included the poem, Female Comic Book Superheroes. Fun to listen to.

and tonight, less fun...a broadcast about Iran. I heard it on WMUA but can't track the details. Darn. Is it possible it was Seymour Hersh? Here's an old article he wrote about Iran, just after Bush's apparent reelection. (There was evidence of voting fraud - particularly in Ohio - but it was severely underreported.) Here's a more recent Hersh story: Would President Bush go to war to stop Tehran from getting the bomb? (It might be one I blogged before, seems familiar.)

Whoever I heard today felt that whatever messianic ambitions Bush has, he'll wait until after the November elections.

Evil Kachina sends this along with the suggestion: "Some of these probably apply."

These are the unavoidable laws of the natural universe...

1. Law of Mechanical Repair: After your hands become coated with grease your nose will begin to itch or you'll have to pee.

2. Law of the Workshop: Any tool, when dropped, will roll to the least
accessible corner.

3. Law of probability: The probability of being watched is directly
proportional to the stupidity of your act.

4. Law of the Telephone: When you dial a wrong number, you never get a
busy signal.

5. Law of the Alibi: If you tell the boss you were late for work because you had a flat tire, the very next morning you will have a flat tire.

6. Variation Law: If you change lines (or traffic lanes), the one you
were in will start to move faster than the one you are in now. (works every time).

7. Bath Theorem: When the body is fully immersed in water, the telephone rings.

8. Law of Close Encounters: The probability of meeting someone you know increases when you are with someone you don't want to be seen with.

9. Law of the Result: When you try to prove to someone that a machine
won't work, it will.

10. Law of Biomechanics: The severity of the itch is inversely proportional to the reach.

11. Theater Rule: At any event, the people whose seats are furthest from the aisle arrive last.

12. Law of Coffee: As soon as you sit down to a cup of hot coffee, your boss will ask you to do something which will last until the coffee is cold.

13. Murphy's Law of Lockers: If there are only two people in a locker room, they will have adjacent lockers.

14. Law of Dirty Rugs/Carpets: The chances of an open-faced jelly sandwich landing face down on a floor covering are directly correlated to the newness, color and cost of the carpet/rug.

15. Law of Location: No matter where you go, there you are.

16. Law of Logical Argument: Anything is possible if you don't know what you are talking about.

17. Brown's Law: If the shoe fits, it's ugly.

18. Oliver's Law: A closed mouth gathers no feet.

19. Wilson's Law: As soon as you find a product that you really like,
they will stop making it.

Be humble.

Take control of the question:

Establish clear parameters for what you will include/exclude, acknowledge possible parts of the answer then rephrase to establish boundaries for the answer.

Pay homage:

Acknowledge big names, theories, etc so you can’t be accused of having overlooked something, someone important. Explain why/how these theorist’s work is – while still important – less relevant to the direction you wish to take.

Outline the course of the paper (in advance is recommended).

Rest well the day before.

I said farewell to the Townhouse bachelor-pad today. These guys were great to and for me. They included me almost as if I'd always been there, allowed me my own room, tolerated my bike in the middle of the living room, fed me, introduced me to their friends...and gave me lots of space/time to study.

I gotta say something about Neil with the Mind of Steel. I think I know why Mei Mei huddled under the comforter every time he was in the house. You can't get nothing past this guy!

A week or so ago, he noticed I had not included his name in a certain description of a conversation he and I had, and wanted me to know it was ok for me to name him. He thought perhaps I hadn’t included his name because I was worried he might be upset. Not to worry, he assured me.

My immediate response was …uh… a little squirmy. I said I wanted to make the conversation appear broader than it really was? But I knew that wasn’t quite right – there was a deeper source. Ah, I was worried. I didn’t know how to identify him without including more details, and I didn’t want to appear to be bragging about having convinced him of something. I guess perhaps there was a worry (?) that he might feel bad about having been convinced? Worse, convinced by Me.

I made a bunch of tactical errors regarding confidentiality and respect etc. in the early days of the blog (which constitutes the first couple of years' worth). I think my criteria and representations have improved considerably but I know it’s not perfect. Occasionally I get hints and whiffs of someone’s displeasure or annoyance, and I am still usually puzzled as to why but continue to expand my own perception of the range of reasons. At any rate, it is a distinct pleasure to engage with someone so sensitive to nuance and so proactive in following up on it. Might even miss that guy. :-/

At any rate, I told Neil that giving me such blanket permission was rather daring, "You're in trouble now!" He laughed, "There are things about myself that I don't know." Yes, me too, I thought. What better way to find out?

The quote up top was shared by Basha, who hosted the most fantastic meal and night of live music I've ever attended. (Not ever having been much of a music-head.) I was invited along spontaneously, knowing no one but my roommates. That night was a taste of living I haven't felt in a long time. Been having lots of those experiences lately.

It's good. :-)