if folks don't answer?! I'm one to talk, since phone is NOT my thing. Mine is always on vibrate, not ring, and most of the time I don't even notice that it's ringing. Not to mention I'm out of range half the time. But those two boys with their new toys! You'd think ONE of them could have answered!
We'll see how long I'm lugging that microwave and toaster around for 'em now...
Well. I was entertained by the couple and the anti-couple last night. ;-) After Raz rounded up the cavalry to welcome his best friend to Amherst, we went out to dinner and had some spirited discussion and teasing about the history of their friendship, gender/sexual orientation, and the merits of religion vs. spirituality. Although there were differences of opinion regarding the usefulness of organized religion, all my buds owned up to being spiritual beings. :-)
I think they probably didn't watch Star Trek tapes after I bid them goodnight, however, it's nice to know another trekker's orbit will overlap with mine for the next few years.
A cryptic email from Todd:
"watch the will ferrell commercial on whitehousewest.com"
???
I think everyone should keep a sharp eye out for Korean drivers and especially HUNJU! Oh my gosh, she is LEGAL. :-) Definitely time for a celebration, don't you think? (Maybe a sleepover at Carolyn's, so no one has to worry about driving home afterwards?)
Oops ~ I'm not supposed to tease her in public. :-( Do you think she will try to run me over? :-) Respect, where IS it?!!! (In steph-speak teasing = affection, grin.)
Stephen is already out of the starting gate! Not only did he send the proposed syllabus today for Democracy, Rhetoric, and Performance, he also got in the first joke, enticing Scott the Snakemeister to return for an encore performance. :-)
Of course, there is reading DUE for the first class....welcome to grad school!
John is a rock. He's just steady and keeps on going and doesn't get stressed (or at least doesn't show it) when I fiddle with this or that way of putting the dang thing together. We cranked on the wall today, not withstanding Sarbjeet's "lostness" and Denise's general disparagement. :-) She didn't miss a moment to tell me what a pathological, delusional mess I am, and Sarbjeet was (apparently) less motivated cuz Lynn wasn't here to impress - last year you should have seen how hard he worked! :-) I, of course, have no such excuse. I'm simply leaving my mark.
On top (!) of it all there was Frankie and Bardsley. Oh my. A horny boy and a timid girl. Yikes! Both these pups need to get fixed!
An arbitrator ruled in support of GEO's grievance against the international student fee! Looks like UMass administration might try to get the ruling reversed legally, but at this point they ought to "cease and desist from charging the ISF to graduate student employees" and refund the fee to anyone who paid it.
Way to go GEO!
~ from an email from Yasser Munif
Leona and Sam held hands this evening, after spending the day taking turns sleeping and engaging in tandem crying. ;-) Leona was quite frightened by her potential future mother-in-law (they were starting to connect by the time we left). Sam spent most of his awake time just checking everybody out, generally unperturbable. :-) At 10 weeks, he's got that alert gaze now, really seeing and noticing things.
Told told us (for the 47th time) that Salem recently made the top 20 list of best places to live. We did make it in to the Peabody-Essex Museum (oldest museum in the US), and saw Yin Yu Tang - the reconstructed 19th century house from China. Another museum-goer attached herself to Li once she heard him translating and explaining things for us - we had a hard time shaking her, even though she had clarified that he wasn't working for the museum. Li was his usual kind and generous self, answering her questions and interacting politely. Todd vanished at the first whiff of intrusion, Carolyn and I hung in for quite a while. Finally, though, being unable to rescue Li without being rude, we, too, left him to extricate himself from her greedy clutches. (Not that WE had an selfish reasons for wanting to keep him to ourselves!) :-) We learned a lot of neat stuff that I'm sure wasn't in the official "audio tour". Including tidbits about what seemed somehow "out of place" - such as placement of furniture and other items in certain rooms. Li seemed to have a bit of cognitive dissonance - felt like he'd been "home" and couldn't quite place himself in Salem MA when we departed. (His navigation skills once we were in the car were alright though, better than someone else we know...!)
I got separated from the group for about an hour - went to the restroom and was seduced by retail therapy. Found something for my mother's upcoming birthday, and a little something for a little someone I know and was missing. :-( While I was lost, Li, Todd, and Carolyn checked out Havana, architectural photography by Robert Polidori.
Cheri and Qun finally showed up with the babies and I got to babysit for a whole half-hour! Leona and I checked out the plants and gift shop. She really wanted to eat one of the ferns.
After the museum, we walked out toward the lighthouse, then past the House of Seven Gables before heading out to the Boardwalk in Willows Park for dinner. The only casualty of the day was me stubbing my toe on the concrete picnic table.
Tom Atlee's recent work on polarization is applicable to interpersonal relationships too. The following are excerpts from POLARIZATION AND INTELLIGENCE by Tom Atlee - August 2004.
Intelligence involves understanding what is real -- matching our mental models with what is really out there. That is what learning from experience is all about: Something happens that we didn't expect, so we change our expectations to include it, becoming more aligned with reality in the process. This is what science is all about: Making hypotheses (mental models) about reality and then testing them to find their validity, including their limitations.
The more fully we apply intelligence to any circumstance, the more we become able to align our efforts with the actual realities of the situation and thereby succeed.
In their efforts to understand reality, intelligent people seek to understand similarities and differences. Of course, those similarities and differences should be real and relevant. Getting hung up on imaginary, irrelevant differences and similarities -- thinking a handsome candidate is better than a conscientious one, for example, or that everyone who looks like an Arab is a potential enemy -- can lead to make stupid mistakes.
Sometimes someone -- perhaps an advertiser raving about an expensive product -- will insist that we pay attention to fine distinctions, when similarities may be far more obvious and important. Other times people will insist that certain things -- such as "all politicians" -- are similar despite glaring differences. At such times, we need to dig deeper into what's going on. Intelligence involves questioning anything that interferes with our ability to seriously consider actual, relevant similarities and differences.
In most cases, polarization undermines intelligence by misleading us in exactly this way. It reduces vast human diversity into categories like Left and Right that are often ambiguous, distracting and even downright irrelevant (see
...
All [criticisms] said, we must acknowledge the powerfully positive role that polarization -- and its close cousins, violence and nonviolent confrontation -- often play in breaking through denial and life-degrading social arrangements. Although polarization cannot resolve issues well, it contains energy that can force those issues onto the table when most people refuse to attend to them or when people or institutions with undue social power prevent vital issues from being considered.
People whose views and interests are suppressed or oppressed often experience, though that oppression, a sense that they are different from and opposed to the people or systems that are holding them down or threatening what they value. Asserting this difference and opposition is often a necessary part of breaking out of victimhood.
Looks like Bardsley will be looking for new owners. Denise says he's turned her home into a cat vs dog war zone and it's "not peaceful!" So it goes. I walked him yesterday and found him a lot of fun and quite smart but definitely loaded with unrestrained puppy energy. I think I learned a few things from our relative disaster with Frankie (the spoiled queen). Was kinda looking forward to another chance in occasional surrogate dog-dom, but that's obviously no reason for the dog-mom to endure the stress of continual combat. Ah well!
I wrote this yesterday afternoon while I was waiting at Mt. Tom for SOMEBODY to show up. :-) We walked the wheelchair accessible path, then hiked about a half-hour up one lovely trail. Definitely a place to return too!
Iíve been proactive in (trying to!) organize groups of folks to do things together. All the events that have occurred have been successful (near as I can tell, anyway) for those who participated. I think Iíve probably always preferred group things to 1:1 socializing (unless itís a date, smile) but not really thought about it much ñ perhaps assuming everyone does, its just that itís hard to organize around everyoneís busy schedules, personalities and whatever other barriers are perceived to get in the way. Being part of groups this summer has inoculated me some from the loss of my family, but I think in general I prefer groups because ñ despite being an external processor ñ I am more of an introvert than an extrovert. If more people are present than the energy expenditure is dispersed. Selfishly, I can enjoy people without having to be constantly ìon.î (Not that Iím ever ìoffî ñ grin.)
It strikes me there are some contradictions lurking around/in/through these thoughtsÖsomething about the balance between performance/self-representation and reflection/enactment of subjectivity.
Julie comes up with an innovative new interior-decorating idea for those living in small spaces.
Trackback to "fat lip" comments....
The U.S. Women's national soccer team outplayed China 3:1 yesterday. I, the foreigner lurking within a group of 17 Chinese, tried to be generous to the young team that shows signs of promise, but the soccer aficionado's were (according to interpretations) having NONE of it. They cheered mightily though, and sang their national anthem vigorously (unlike the U.S. fans, of whom not a whisper of the anthem could be heard). More neutral observers also credited the Chinese with maintaining a "fast physical pace... to the end in a game played from side to side and end to end of the pitch by two equally matched teams almost at the top of their game...and having the courage and ability to take on the United States in open field attacking play" (Women's Soccer World.)
An obnoxious group of Americans right behind us tried to drown out the Chinese chants everytime they got started, and the folks running the replay cameras managed NOT to repeat the good plays made by the Chinese team (yes, they actually made several, especially on defense). No nationalistic bias there.
When we first met up with the whole group to get our tickets, a woman asked me, "Are you with us?" Later, after the 2nd or 3rd time I criticized a U.S. player for bad sportsmanship, another woman asked, "Where are you from?" :-) I enjoyed good plays on both sides, and deplored the bad equally. I suppose it was easy to relax, though, because there was a clearcut advantage in speed, skill and teamwork. And, as Qianqing pointed out in the face of a bit of male chauvinism (sexism, she called it), the Chinese women's team has competed better overall than the men's team, even if the men demonstrate more individual prowess.
Gu Li saw the exciting match on Thursday when the Chinese national team came from a 3-1 deficit to defeat the New England regional team 4-3. Too bad the coverage of this game doesn't expand more on the comeback. (Wanna bet there are some sites in Mandarin that extol upon the team's success?) Must have been thrilling!
AFTER the game, we went to "the largest Asian food market" in the area, then to what folks have described as the most authentic Szechuan-style restaurant near here (both in Hartford). Lu Li flunked as a navigator! We decided we'd still go places with him, but trust him for directions? UNlikely. ;-) The market was interesting - John Kerry's salute at the Democractic National Convention graced the cover of a Mandarin newspaper still on sale, and there were more whole dead fish than I've seen in one location before. Many people looked oddly at me - was I out of place because I'm not Asian-appearing or was it my mullet? :-)
Ingrid owns the heaviest TV I have ever encountered! Not to mention the 20 steps down (old apt) and 30 steps up (new apt). But we pulled it off on the muggiest day of summer in about 3 hours. Cole and I bonded around the experience, even though he slammed the sofa into my lip when we got jammed in a door (it's not that swollen but I can tell - and it still hurts!)
We rocked with five cars and lots of helpers - Ingrid's got a great clutch of friends. Lucky gal! I think we should start a betting pool on how she's gonna get all her stuff arranged in this much smaller apartment (it will be cozy, to say the least). ;-)
